I’m sure most reading this post – if you haven’t experienced it yourself – have at least seen a relationship that didn’t involve trust. Otherwise fun and exciting relationships that were ruined by the lack of trust from one, or both, of those involved.
In one of my earlier posts, How Not Being “Manly” Made Me Hate Myself, I mentioned that I sometimes have conversations with myself (in my head, mind you) about questions I have. It’s a way for me to have a personal counseling session and to talk through issues that I don’t understand.
Yesterday I was talking to myself about how I didn’t want my relationship to become codependent. I didn’t want our happiness to depend on each other. I didn’t want her bad days to bring me down, and I didn’t want my bad days to bring her down.
This isn’t a complaint about BYU-Idaho as an organization. It’s where I earned my degree, and I’m not upset at the university. Instead I’d like to address an issue with the culture so prevalent around campus.
My girlfriend was at church on campus this morning, and during a lesson on dating (yeah, that’s a thing) the women were told that if a man asked them out they should just say yes.
There are really three ways that I get ideas for what I want to write about.
- I’ll see or hear somebody, and I’ll recognize that they don’t understand something that I wish they understood. It’s not always appropriate to approach them immediately, so I’ll make a note of the idea on my phone and then write about it later.
- I’ll notice that somebody I know is going through something that I’ve gone through before. They may not know that I understand what it’s like, and rarely is it effective to directly tell somebody in pain that I understand. They’ll usually reject whatever is said. But by writing about it, and allowing them to read it on their own time, they are generally more open and will sometimes reach out themselves for support.
- The last reason is when I recognize a flaw in my own life. Sometimes I’ve made the change in thinking or acting already and am trying to share what I now understand. Other times I’ll still be in the process of changing but feel it would be valuable to share my thoughts.
This idea came the third way…