I’ve thought about writing this every time a post on pornography shows up on social media. Not because they make me feel inspired, but because I always feel there is something missing.
I’ve had a hard time lately with where I am in my life. This isn’t a repeat of my last post, I promise. It’s just the truth, and it needed to be said again.
And it’s not that everything is going wrong…there are actually a lot of things going right. But often I find myself getting caught up in a sense of “what am I doing?”
I don’t remember exactly why I started thinking about addiction last week, but over the years I’ve noticed that most people don’t understand it. Even addicts fail to understand it themselves, and spend years addressing the wrong issue.
Be aware as you read this that I don’t like the word “addict”, as I feel it’s a poor way to define somebody with so many other qualities. But I’ll be using it in this post to make it easier to refer to those with an addiction.
In one of my earlier posts, How Not Being “Manly” Made Me Hate Myself, I mentioned that I sometimes have conversations with myself (in my head, mind you) about questions I have. It’s a way for me to have a personal counseling session and to talk through issues that I don’t understand.
Yesterday I was talking to myself about how I didn’t want my relationship to become codependent. I didn’t want our happiness to depend on each other. I didn’t want her bad days to bring me down, and I didn’t want my bad days to bring her down.